To My Newborn Son in NICU
Note: Andrew Solomon Domorev was born on 14th February, 2018. He is now 11 months old.
To my newborn son in NICU,
Today I found out that you have Down syndrome.
Today I also found out that faced with the prospect of giving you life, barely a handful would say yes.
When I look at you, my eyes see the countless wires, tubes and sensor pads attached to your tiny body. The new scar on your belly with blood stained stitches. The tube in your mouth helping you breath.
My heart sees perfection. Your soft skin, tiny toes, thick black hair, fat cheeks and perfect eyes.
Today I ache at the thought of not giving you life.
So today I will surrender to my heart and love on you. I will continue to love on you fiercely every day of your life, and if I cannot find strength inside to love, I will demand this strength from above. And when that day comes that I am no longer able to protect you from the knowledge of what others would have done with your life, your heart will be so full that there will be no space for the lie that your life is not worthy of this world.
Forever your mama.